Thursday, September 13, 2012

The birthday week reflection

My birthday week is coming to a close. The skies have been blue, vast and crisp. Saturday marks 29 years.


Turning 29 is no big deal, it is in the bag. So it goes.


I like the process, I enjoy getting older, falling into stride. I have kicked my twenties in the ass. I did everything that I wanted to do and found myself in a place beyond anything I could have imagined. I am blessed in so many ways. I am aware of my surrounds, positive and negative. My future is bright.

I have climbed mountains, had epics, slept on a climbing rope with my feet in a backpack to stay warm while lost and tired, traveled, survived, felt true love, made lifelong friends, got married to a wonderful partner, found the beauty in day to day life, stood on podiums claiming second and third place awards in distance races. I have made dark mistakes, lost good friends, let people down, lost good jobs. I have learned a lot. These days I eat whatever the hell that I want. I drink beer and eat pizza with potatoes on it and find comfort. My early 20 year old self would shiver at the thought of that many carbs even crossing her mind. Bring it on. Life is uncertain, I do eat dessert. It has been a journey. A voyage all my own.

These days I run because I find absolute joy in moving my body and not to burn calories, a bold statement coming from a once gaunt lost girl. I ride my mountain bike as much as I can to escape to a place that is sacred and discover an uninhibited demeanor that is unstoppable. I have fun these days, I do what I want and feel like a force to be recon with even if it is only in my mind. I am softer, curvier than I used to be and feel good about it.  I have only one person to impress and that is myself. I have myself to make happy, everyone else just falls into place.

It is easy to think that you are almost there with just a little more you will be there. That is place I  don't want to be. As the years add up I know that nothing on this world is mine. Anything I find can be gone. We all need something, that something can only be found within.

So far the best present was a few words from my husband earlier this week, go for a bike ride Michelle, you have a brand new bike. The next day I dropped all obligations and for a few hours and rode my bike. All was right in my world again after an afternoon in the forest. A smile from ear to ear, a buzz that is impossible to ignore. Everyday following I have got out for a pedal on the trails. Friday, my present to myself, a day trip to Whistler, to ride as many trails as I can. Boldly, I want to ride by myself, I don't want to stop, I don't want any accountability except to come home in one piece. The weekend is spotted in with friends, rides, precious time with my husband and family.

Here is to the changes that have happened in the last year and to even more changes in the coming year. I promise to to leave nothing but dust in my twenties.

3 comments:

  1. Beautiful Michelle! I wish the happiest of birthdays to you, and cheers to your enlightenment!!

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  2. Thank you so much! It was a wonderful day indeed.

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  3. I like the photo VERY much. Your words moved me. D:

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