Monday, February 01, 2010

Coming out on top

Life is better when the bright side shows. Really, the light is so much better than the dark.

Instead of sharing my unhampered desire to go for a run, bike ride, yoga, get out of a chair with out looking like I am 87... I want to share with you the light that I have gained through this whole process.
First the lyrics to one of my favorite songs right now by Leonard Cohen titled, "Anthem"

The birds they sang
at the break of day


Start again


I heard them say


Don't dwell on what


has passed away


or what is yet to be.






Ah the wars they will


be fought again


The holy dove


She will be caught again


bought and sold


and bought again


the dove is never free.






Ring the bells that still can ring


Forget your perfect offering


There is a crack in everything


That's how the light gets in.






We asked for signs


the signs were sent:


the birth betrayed


the marriage spent


Yeah the widowhood


of every government --


signs for all to see.






I can't run no more


with that lawless crowd


while the killers in high places


say their prayers out loud.


But they've summoned, they've summoned up


a thundercloud


and they're going to hear from me.






Ring the bells that still can ring ...






You can add up the parts


but you won't have the sum


You can strike up the march,


there is no drum


Every heart, every heart


to love will come


but like a refugee.






Ring the bells that still can ring


Forget your perfect offering


There is a crack, a crack in everything


That's how the light gets in.






Ring the bells that still can ring


Forget your perfect offering


There is a crack, a crack in everything


That's how the light gets in.


That's how the light gets in.


That's how the light gets in.



If I hadn't came through this experiance with my head held high and surround by encouragement, well, I would probably laying in bed asking someone to bring me more pain meds, bread, and chocolate. Here I am, behind a computer, a zest for life that cannot be put out. The spring is slowy coming back into my step, I feel as if I can move again, I can walk with long confident strides, covering ground with purpose and intent. My body has waken up from its slumber and is full of life. I have a fresh twinkle in my eye because I have been patiently waiting, waiting to get back to my life in whatever form that it may take on.
Every day I am discovering the things that came through the cracks, the light that shines in my life. This bump in my life was meant to happen, and I am grateful for what I have learned. Let me share...
The most important thing I have learned so far is my invincability. I was strong and strong willed, but there is a fornce stronger than me out there (gasp) and it is not gravity (which is a very strong force that tossed me from my skis and then sent me tumbling off a ramp on my mountain bike, not at the same time though) it is something else. It is the force that keeps our checks and balances in order.
Health is our greatest wealth. Seriously, I am not trying to be catchy. If the body is not healthy, it is extreamly hard for the rest of the body to be happy and healthy. If the body is weak and injured the day to day activities are comprimised. I have also learned that wealth can buy health (or at least new body parts).
Through this incident I have slowed down and as I haved shared previously I have learned to appreciate other things in life a bit more. I have made dinner almost every night the last couple of weeks, taken on new hobbies and just slowed down in general. I love to be in my house, there possibilities are endless in our little nook and I actuallly feel comfortable. The best part about slowing down has been the time I have been able to spend with my husband. I feel that we have grown closer through the whole ordeal. Our lives have came closer, in a healthy manner and it is not just from him having to wait on me hand a foot for a couple of weeks.
I have had more time to spend with friends and make new ones in the process. Ususpecting people have reached out and helped me through the process and for this my life is richer. My physical therapists are great people, everyone at the gym is encouraging, and my family takes the time to make sure I am still sane. For the most part I am, but there are moments....
I am seeing the light...

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